Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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