Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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