sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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