I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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