There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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