Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
