fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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