The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
