why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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