I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
