his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
