We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
