so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
