Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She even gives head with a lisp.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
