I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
