god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
