so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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