Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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