Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
