hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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