I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just had sex bonerless
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
