I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
