I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
