Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
