I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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