just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
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