You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
