Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
