Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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