Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
