How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
