it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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