I need help removing her.
Soap is not a condiment
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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