I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
