I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
