I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
