this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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