Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
