I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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