white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
