So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
