Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
