just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
