My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
