just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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