everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
