you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
