I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
