last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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