So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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