I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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