i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
